Tag Archives: the bionic salesman

Driving by Numbers

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The Bionic Salesman
A Journey around Thailand

So much for the rain. The newspapers were full of flood warnings as I set off on the second leg of my journey around Thailand, but it rained only three times on a three-week trip.

Those three rain storms all came on the first day as I drove down the east side to catch the ferry to Koh Samet. The rain came in blocks of sky, an aggravated shout that soon ran out of breath. For a while it was like driving through a liquidiser. Mostly, there was brilliant sun. Continue reading →

Bionic Salesman Bounces Through Customs

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Waboba Thailand Road TripThe Bionic Salesman
A Journey around Thailand

My journey begins with the discovery that the Bangkok Bounce website has been blocked in China. I can’t imagine what could be so subversive about a website about bouncy balls. Ah, but maybe they think Bangkok Bounce sounds like something else altogether. Shame on you, censors. This is a family site.

I am traveling with the largest wheelie suitcase I could find. Considerably overweight, and containing a mass of medical equipment, a toothbrush, two pairs of underwear and one T-shirt, it is as stubborn and immovable as a bloated sheep. Apart from a computer, a camera and three Waboba balls, that is all I have with me. There’s no space for clothes. I am like a snake sloughing off its skin. Continue reading →

On Becoming Holland

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The Bionic Salesman
Hainan, China

HollandThe kidneys are remarkable organs. They filter the entire body’s blood 60 times a day. Over an average lifetime, they filter more than a million litres of blood, breaking down proteins and carefully draining out the bad stuff and leaving the good stuff.

They are pieces of precision engineering that function so perfectly most of the time that most people just take them for granted. Nobody ever thinks of themselves as being a kidney success, and most people have no real idea what would happen to you if your kidneys stopped working.

A few months ago, I failed comprehensively at kidneys. I lost a war of attrition, over several decades, with an auto-immune disease. Mine are the kidneys that failed their exams repeatedly, dropped out of remedial class and now spend their days kicking cans and smoking fagbutts in the alley behind the supermarket.

And I can now tell you exactly what happens to you when your kidneys fail. Continue reading →

The Bionic Salesman

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Waboba Thailand Road TripIn January, 2011, I’ll be taking a road trip around Thailand for the country launch of the Waboba Ball.

It promises to be a remarkable trip, not least because there is something special about me.

I’m bionic. And that’s not a joke. I am entirely dependent for life on a machine called Baxter, who accompanies me everywhere in an enormous grey suitcase. Baxter sleeps by day but works dilligently by night, making cheerful hisses and gurgles as he restores my body in preparation for the next day of the trip. It promises to be quite a journey.

If you would like me or another salesperson to drop in on you and show you the Waboba Ball, get in touch with us today.