The Bionic Salesman
A Journey around Thailand
My journey begins with the discovery that the Bangkok Bounce website has been blocked in China. I can’t imagine what could be so subversive about a website about bouncy balls. Ah, but maybe they think Bangkok Bounce sounds like something else altogether. Shame on you, censors. This is a family site.
I am traveling with the largest wheelie suitcase I could find. Considerably overweight, and containing a mass of medical equipment, a toothbrush, two pairs of underwear and one T-shirt, it is as stubborn and immovable as a bloated sheep. Apart from a computer, a camera and three Waboba balls, that is all I have with me. There’s no space for clothes. I am like a snake sloughing off its skin.
At the airport body scan, I empty the detritus from my pockets into the tray – coins, fluff, receipts, a scrumpled handful of Chinese notes, a Waboba ball. Being bionic, I have learned to be wary of the body scan. I have bits attached to me that go beep in the scanners.
A tube leaves my abdomen to the right of my belly button, where it is joined to a twist tap by a titanium bolt. To the uninitiated, it must look like a crude detonation device.
I’ve had airport officials try to grab and remove it, and others who have taken me to the interview room to watch me demonstrate that the tube and I are one and the same.
This time, thankfully, the official was more interested in the Waboba ball.
“What’s this?”
“It bounces on water.”
“Does it work?”
“Of course,” I said, and he bounced it on the floor a few times to make sure it wasn’t semtex.
